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Is no news good news?

This just in! Jessica Simpson isn’t pregnant! Not only that, but she doesn’t even plan to become pregnant any time soon! Moreover, if she were pregnant, she probably wouldn’t star in a show about it on MTV. Stay tuned for more updates in this shocking turn of events.

I realize celebrity worship is big and that I’m utterly unamerican for not having a celebrity crush (and maybe for other reasons) but I really hope there was some context to this other than “Britney’s in the news; better put out a press release.” That still doesn’t explain why anyone would publish it, though.

And just for the record, me, I’m not pregnant. Not even looking for a dog. Everything’s just a-ok, not that anyone asked me either.


  1. Steven says:

    Jessica Simpson is one of these fascinating reality-tv people who’s famous just for being famous, isn’t she? She’s some kind of fortean phenomenon, her stupidity attracting bizarre and amusing weirdness. This must be her weird-stupid-attractor abilities in action.

    — 8 January 2004 at 2:12 am (Permalink)